Friday 18th October 2002

    Martin enquired if anyone picked up a single shin pad from the 5 a side on Friday in the dressing room. He seemed to be missing one, 'it's blue and I do miss it. The other one is very lonely and would like to be reunited with its soul mate.'
    A symathetic comment from Tony, 'Martin I really hope you find your shin pad but if you dont, be strong. You are bound to meet another one some day.'
    Jerry generously offered Martin his - anything to stop those silly emails and let him to get on with his work. . . . he's not allowed to play anymore, anyway.
    Martin was delighted and relieved to be able to turn down Jerry's offer. 'No need no need I have it back . I now have two pads, one for each leg. It's wonderful. The stress has left me worried and I am currently off work for two weeks recovering.'

    A bumper night in prospect against the Mojos this week with the promise of some new blood.  We've got a few new recruits just aching to pull on a Dads shirt. Those who've been in touch are; Bernie Carroll (Shift Worker), Chris Andrews (Rusty Keeper), Sean Whelan (All round superman), Carlos Garcia (S. American superstar) and Dermot Stevens (George Best look-alike) Luckily Mal's having to working . . . . . again, but he's confident the great run will contnue and everuone's bound to have a great kick about and make the new Dads welcome . . . . (Oh, shame who is going to be responsible for pulling the players-off at half time, now) . . . . and Rob's promised to get to the game early to ensure he gets his lucky No 9 shirt.  He also had some kind words for our new rusty Keeper, 'Chris has already shown us his goal keeping skills in the last game. He had no trouble with the specially coated "Springhill Dads teflon coated goal keeping gloves" and gave a remarkably consistent goal keeping performance in Robbie Thorpes absence.

    Rob's enthusiasm was cruelly queried by Martin.  'Are you taking steriods?  Are you praising up the Chris as a keeper because anyone is better than Robbie?  I'll be there on Friday if my wife lets me come, she's still traumatised from the missing shin pad saga.'

     Tony has other ideas, 'I think youv'e got the wrong end of the stick !!!! Rob's problem has nothing to do with steroids, it's all the fresh cream cakes and vegetarian mushrooms that he's been scoffing for the past fourty odd years.
     As a fellow athlete I must say I empathise. If the service from midfield was better we wouldn't look so immobile, out of breath, out of condition and generally eight stone heavier than we really are.'

After all the excitment, Rob Frisby had to sent his apologies, 'I will now not be able to get to the match to deservedly claim my No9 shirt. I have to attend a steroid support group meeting at work. I know you will give the Mojos a good hiding anyway. Pass on my regards to Squinneyman and co! Try and be supportive to my strike partner, Tony. Assure him I will be back to set up his standing bicycle kicks in the next game. Tell that thsssthoroughly niiithe bloke Elmssssththie he is playing at left back where he played thsssthoroughly niiiiithely.'

    However, the Dads seems to have found a real live one in the shy and retiring Sean Whelan, a release from his publisist, Max Clifford follows;
     'The great midfield man of the Springill School sides of 75-77. Returns to his roots, In the form of Springhill Dads F.C. Whelan also returns from a sever back problem and has just recovered from an operation to separate the bed matress that was firmly stuck to it. This has proved succesful an emotional Sean at the press conferance stated "Its great to back at Springhill I just hope I don't get blamed for everything that goes wrong, That's what happened in 75-77." '

Sprinhill Dads
Robbie Thorpe
Tim Hart - Sean Whelan - Brian Medway - Jon Elms
Martin Kingsbury - Dave Hedges - Chris Andrews - Tony Pascoe
Dave Smith - Jon Elms
Subs:- Tony O'Neill, Jason Franklin

    A tap in ha! It is hard to describe what can only be described as indescribable, but I'll have a go (try to guess who wrote this?).
     With several new faces in the squad those old timers had to do something special to welcome the new boys and did they do that with style. Despite the opppositions youthfulness and that commodity that Springhill Dads have heard about but have been unable to purchase at even the most expensive of shops, pace, we approached the game with an air of confidence.
     Ten minutes before kick off we had 8 players in the dressing room. The omens were good, everyone was franticaly checking their watches, phoning home and some one even asked Tim. What was the time? One of the 8 was Tony Pascoe! In true Springhill Dads style we kicked off at 7.45.
     Dave Hedges scored what in any other game, any other year, would have been goal of the season.  He lobbed the keeper from 20 yards. After congratulating Dave in the time honoured way - "Did you mean that" "You lucky bastard".  "Was it a cross" and from Jon Elms " You greedy git you should have passed to me", as a team we burst into song and at their keeper sang, "Are you Thorpie in disguise, are you Thorpie in disguise".
(Did you hear about my goal on Friday???  A thirty five yard strike, Mal.....much better than "haircuts" tap-in! . . . Dave)
     Now Dave had scored a good goal, but how did he know the keeper was vunerable to being lobbed.  He didn't he guessed.  However the next goal had vision written all over it.
     The keeper goes to the right hand edge of his box, gathers the ball and drop kicks from the edge of his area.  Kingsbury computes the possibilities.  He sprints towards the half way line and gathers the ball 10 yards inside the oppositions half.  He brings the ball down in one graceful movement that from the sidelines looked more like ballet than football. 
    The opposition are stunned.  Do they try and tackle or stop to applaud.  In that split second of indecision Kingsbury pounces.  Keeper off line, 38.5 yards to target, four white shirts between ball and goal.  With little back lift the left foot becomes a blur, at contact the is a noise like a gunshot, two of the white shirts in front run for cover.
      What do you watch?  The ball in it's speedy flight goalwards over the head of the keeper? or the frantic celebrations of what surely must be Springhills finest moment.  Suddenly there was an air of carnival at the Sports Centre.
     The two five aside games on the next pitch come to a standstill, as players swapped their version of the goal.  Goal! surely this is not a big enough word to describe it, it was an event , a moment, an exhibition.  As when Kennedy died, people in years to come will remember where they were when Kingsbury scored that exhibition goal.  Mal remembers he was at work. I am proud to say I was there.

Half Time
Dads 2 - 0 Mojos

    New/old boy Sean is too self effacing to praise his footballing skills and has to leave it for others to talk through his how well he played and relay his blistering run from the back to head the ball with such venom that the boys all stood in complete respect for the 3rd decisive goal.  He's doen't think it would be right for him to also tell us all how he organised the back 4 and created a solid working unit that nothing and no-one could get past.  Its probably best he let the lads retell it for themselves how he made his mark 4 minutes into the game when he flattened their main striker and growled HAV IT!!!! as the ball flew up the field to John Elms.  Sean wrote this piece with a scouse accent going on about some film star . . . Mickie Rooney (What's he got to do with football) and asked the editor to forward a match report of the Everton - Arsenal game from the week-end?  I'm sure Robbie'll enjoy it, the Gunners aren't going to loose all season, are they.

    Jon Elms thought Micky Rooney would have done better than Sean, the tortoise of the Dads, who set of from defence for a corner just after half time and arrived just in time for an inch perfect long range high velocity and in all respects brilliant last minute throw to bounce off his shell and into the empty net.  Incidentally Davey Hedge put his money where his mouth is (no Rob its just an expression- I dont mean that he was stuffing tenners into a pant beard) and on Saturday morning put ten million on Arsenal not to lose this season. still at least he still has another ten million at 150/1 on Middlesborough to come second. What a boy.

    Finally a contribution from Rusty, 'Well I've played two games now & I've yet to see our forwards score!!!! we got whipped by P&O , although I have to hold my hands up for two of the goals (being a bit of a dodgy keeper maybe it's something I should have done during the game).  Mojo's was a different story - the midfield of Kingsbury, Hedges, Pascoe and Andrews ran the game - the defensive unit was like a brick wall & the front two did enough to put pull their defence to bits. Potential goals of the season from Hedges and Kingsbury before half time set the tone The sound of 21 jaws could be heard dropping, when everyone realised that Sean had run the length of the field to head in the third. Game over.

Full Time
Dads 3 - 0 Mojos

     Man of the Match

     Martin Kinsbury

    Best goal and most
unbiased reporting by far.

Oh, don't forget
    A short note to let you all know about the Circus at Springhill School on Sunday 20th October.
     3.50 GBP per ticket.
Fun for all the family starts at 1.00pm with the circus starting at 2.pm.
See if you can spot the clown Selling the Hot dogs
I look forward to hearing all of your clown and circus remarks relating to the football team . . . . Sean Whelan